To Swing or not to swing, that is the question...

We've had many discussions with couples who are either taking the very first tentative steps into swinging or are trying to decide whether it is something that they should explore. Its not always an easy issue to really get to grips with before actually trying it and taking the plunge is a pretty big step for most people so inevitably leads to a fair amount of soul searching both as individuals and as a couple. The good thing of course is that anything that stimulates open, honest and intimate discussion about a relationship is in itself a positive thing, so in many ways whatever the answer, if you're talking about it, you've already won! However, presuming that you are open to moving this from a topic of discussion to a part of your lifestyle, what should you consider when thinking about swinging?

First of all, its probably worth trying to define why you would like to try swinging. There's absolutely no point in trying to generalize on whether your reasons are "good" or not because every relationship is unique on so many levels but there are some things that may be worth considering.

Swinging could be a good thing to consider if:

You are in a happy, trustful, secure, balanced and loving relationship.

You already have a good sex life but want to share some new and exciting sexual experiences together as a couple.

You find your partner sexually attractive but accept its ok to find other people attractive too and vice versa.

You both consider monogamy a rather limiting or unnecessary concept.

Swinging might best be avoided if:

You are not 100% secure in your relationship.

You have no go areas in your relationship that you can't openly talk about.

You don't feel your sex life is healthy and working the way you would like.

You feel controlling your partner is, to some degree, part of a relationship.

Of all of these points the first one is by a long way the most important. You need to be in a relationship where you feel so close and inseparable that nothing you would consider doing in a swinging lifestyle could threaten this. If you feel there is no threat, then you can be relaxed, if you are relaxed then there will naturally be a place for swinging experiences to bring something positive for you both. Of course you're probably not going to be relaxed on your first experience but you need to be at least reasonably comfortable with the concept to have the chance of enjoying it.

When people start swinging they very often find it deepens their relationship in a way they didn't imagine before starting. Apart from being extremely erotic, it can be an extremely strong bonding experience to share the person you love with someone else because swinging firmly acknowledges that you trust your partner enough to be able to give them sexual freedom. We all measure relationships in a different way but I think most people would agree trusting someone that much has got to be a good thing!

So, if after that you are considering swinging, read more about what it involves here!

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